[2:57 P.M.] [Monday, Apr. 29, 2002]
[different people]

* it seems like it has been some time since my last entry when in actuality it has only been two days * oh well * so i still never figured out things with marcus which proves to be a wierd situation * i dont know where we stand * so naturally i dont know how to refer to him * and i dont know how to approach him * or how to act * as if that should be dependent on our status * this is where my personality splits * as if i was two people in a giant debate * my other half, that pro-adam/anti-marcus half, we'll name her, italic * and that pro-marcus/anti-adam person, that will just be standard type *

* however, on the other end of the spectrum * there is the adam situation, or so i thought * i am going to prom with him, yes *

* but if marcus and i , well whatever we are, then i dont know how i should act upon that situation *

* i know with adam as my date i am obligated to spending the evening with him * he is the person that paid for my ticket, dinner, corsage, and not to mention had the balls to ask me *

* but on the flip side of that * i hear he and kim are an item yet once again * so if this proves true, say between now and prom, then i dont think i should be strictly with him then *

* but do i have to back off a little? *

* she intimidates me, i hate to admit it but she does * i hate confrontation because i hate it when people are mad at me * she is besides the point however *

* i just dont know how to be at prom *

* granted i do like adam too *

* which i guess makes me a bad peson * because i guess then i am leading marcus on *

* but he was the one to say that he didnt want a girlfriend *

* granted that was a mere month or so ago and people these days change their minds on much more complicated things even so more often *

* so who knows *

* i am just keeping all doors and windows and vents open until a bird flies in the house for sure * i dont think that is necessarily a bad thing *

* but i guess it is if kim and him are together again * then should i just basically renounce my position as his date and hand it over to her with only 5 days and counting til prom? *

* am i nuts?! * i wouldnt do that * yea right give up a date to prom * that is an insaine idea and i should shoot whoever thought of that *

* well i guess someone is out to shoot me *

* i could haev killed someone else when i found out they were talking about me yet again on friday when i wasnt here * someone asked the punk ass if adam was taking her to prom * she said .no, hes taking rhiannon, but im already doing whatever i can to put her through so much crap.(which i bet was substituted by the evangelic lauren, who wouldnt dare swear, even in telling such a story) * then she went on to say .you should see what all i wrote about her on the desk in spanish class. * lauren told me she sounded so dumb just saying that because it made her look like she was so immature * good * i hope people see that * because i sit here feeling miserable * debating wheter or not i should just tell him to take her or what ever * and she is still talking trash * i mean come on * if you are gong to tell someone that you are over it, then at least pretend that you are * there is no use saying you are if you are going to continuie to talk trash * whatever i dont even care * i dont believe she was at school today * and man, why didnt i start a mean nasty rumor about her then * oh wait * i fogot * im in HIGH SCHOOL * man get over it * im done with it *

* so that is about it * life sucks as it does generally * but hey i made a really rad cheery shirt with the great sequins and i got tons of compliments on that with my ourse/shoes/earings/toe ring motif * it was great * wait til my rainbow one comes out * that will be just as cool * well i gotta get goin now i will update as i see fit * i bid a good day to all *

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